


necRomancer

by creamXgrim



Category: One Piece
Genre: Coffee Addiction, Comedy, M/M, Romance, Surreal humor, Swearing, Violence, as in Luffy actually talks to ghosts, ghost whispering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-09-17 01:06:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16964826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creamXgrim/pseuds/creamXgrim
Summary: To Law, Luffy was a just a ghost-whispering trainwreck.To Luffy, Law was just a cool guy he really wanted to help.To Ace, both were complete idiots who fell in love and, he’ll have you know, the dead always know better.





	1. All His Two Kidneys

**[necRomancer]**

°°°

_All His Two Kidneys_

°°°

Law wouldn’t have gotten _any_ of his precious feet out of the house that night if he hadn’t run out of coffee powder _._ Now one could argue that such a petty thing would compel no one other than a completely crazed, caffeine addicted, withdrawal-induced maniac to go out into a _storm_ of all things, but maybe he was. Maybe he _was_ crazy. Maybe he _was_ an addict. And maybe, just _maybe_ , he had gone off without the darn thing for longer than his body could endure before attempting to destroy his head from the inside out.

With that nemesis tormenting him to hell and back - good lord, even his _hair_ felt like it hurt - he wore his long coat and set out on the rain, which felt more like sharp icicles with how they pierced his skin. Or maybe they _were_ icicles? With how it was dark and his eyes were slanted to the point of almost closing, they could be frozen bananas for all he knew.

Umbrella? He didn't need no umbrella. He was a grown man. There comes a time in life when you can't realy on these things no more. You just take the frozen banana rain to the face like a  _man._

He didn't lose the only one he had. Really.

And to help his already miserable situation (by making it even worse) the rain that poured on the ground was freezing like his darn bollocks inside his pants, so Law was basically ice dancing on the streets. Without skates. Or any actual dancing. So he was… ice? Just ice. And cold. And pain. Good lord, his face hurt. _Why did he live where his face hurt?!_

“AH!”

Law abruptly stopped at the unfamiliar voice and whipped his head so fast to the side that his brain did a complete, very painful flip inside his skull before settling upside down. On the other side of the street, was some guy that was _way_ too undressed for the weather (and was that a straw hat on top of his head?) openly gawking at Law.

The raven looked to one side, then to the other, squinting to look around and make sure he wasn’t missing on anything - because it sure felt like his eyeballs got upside down along with his brain - but there was no one else on the streets. Which was… unsurprising, he guessed? So this really was about him.

“Yes?” he shouted back, crinkling his mouth to one side and squinting, and just… waiting. And then waiting a little more. The guy was still there, staring at him and making faces, under the - Law just noticed - sole light pole that was working on the other side of the street. Well, that was nice. Very nice. Didn’t make him look like a creep or anything.

And of course the guy yelled “ _You’re wearing your underwear inside out!_ ” in response to Law’s polite inquiry.

And the raven wasn’t surprised. Maybe confused, but not surprised. Why would it be anything that made sense? People didn’t make sense. Especially not people who went out in the middle of the night in a raging storm for whatever reason. Hell; for all he knew the guy wanted coffee powder too.

“Thanks,” Law yet again shouted, for… what exactly? He didn’t even know anymore. His headache made it difficult to think, but hey, at least he made a weirdo’s day - the guy smiled so bright it almost outshone the light post above him.

The guy screamed ‘you’re welcome!’ very jovially and just began walking like nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. No exchange with a complete stranger about their underwear. And Law, well, Law did the same. What else could he do? If anything the, uh, ‘ _conversation’_ made him crave caffeine even worse, because there was a huge chance that was a hallucination. That would certainly make a lot more sense than what just transpired being an actual thing that took place in reality.

As Law was about to turn the street up ahead, he heard the same jovial voice screaming and, as he looked back to check, witnessed the guy yelling ‘what do you mean he wasn’t _actually_ thankful?!’ to… a... street sign.

Neat.

°°°

Law got his coffee, but it had a price, and it wasn’t only what was on the tag at the convenience store (dear lord, was it expensive). After being bitten by a rabid snowflake on the way back from that money ripping, claustrophobic turd, he had transformed into a super hero, the amazing _Popsicle Man._ He would now use his incredible powers to… be cold and... yummy… to save the day from… stuff.

Oh, _to hell_ with distracting his mind from the fact that he was checking his underwear to see if it was really inside out.

It was.

How could the guy tell from that distance? Law could barely make out anything on him besides the fact that he had a hat and smiled like the bloody Joker. Law’s coat went past over his knees, though, and was closed tight and bundled up - Law was essentially a human cocoon. Maybe the guy had special _x-ray-thing_ goggles on him?

Good _lord,_ what a pervert.

°°°

Surprisingly, Law didn’t wake up sick the next morning. He was quite okay save for the black lines under his eyes that he could swear got worse every day.  Law took a good sniff of the coffee powder before placing it into the machine (poor thing was worse than Wall-E at that point but golly if it wasn’t standing strong) and sighed, getting ready for yet another day where he’d have to endure people, and the cold. He didn’t know which was worse, honestly, but having to suffer through both of them was definitely

Fully clothed, Law sat by the table and stared lifelessly at the fruit bowl while he poured himself some of the freshly brewed sauce of the devil. Huh, fruit. T’would be good to be a fruit. Fruits don’t think. Fruits don’t have to be nice to other fruits. They just sit there and exist. _Poof,_ banana.

But Law, no, he can’t have the nice things. He has to drink coffee to keep himself from becoming an insufferable twat, because he can’t be mean to other people, _nuh-uh_ , he has to be _nice_ to them, because if he isn’t, they get on his nerves and then _he_ gets on their nerves. Literally. Because he hits them.

Bloody hell.

He _still_ doesn’t like the taste of this damn coffee.

°°°

“...and then she came to me and I was like, oh baby girl, I know you love me but I can’t be yours - I belong to the night,” Shachi proclaimed poetically as they walked, almost like he was reading a script from his mind rather than telling something that actually happened which, of course, didn’t.

“Yeah, and then you woke up and fell from your bed,” Penguin joked, almost tripping on Law’s foot as he reached around to punch Shachi’s shoulder. Law sighed out loud, staring at the skies as if they could save him.

“Just take me already,” he muttered.

“Oh, he’s broody again.”

“Aren’t I always? Thought you’d be used to it by now.”

“Yeah but there’s some days where you _exhale_ your broodiness like you’re a flamethrower of doom,” Penguin contemplates as he waves his hands around like it’s supposed to mean something.

“Are we _really_ around the same age? ‘Cause I feel like I’m going to university with two little children who think I’m a super hero.”

Shachi snorted offensively loud. “Yeah, right. What super hero? The incredible _Moody Man?_ ”

Well that wasn’t any better than Popsicle Man, that’s for sure.

“Congrats on the creativity. Now, Moody Man here needs to go to his HQ to get his magical hero stuff done, so,” Law tilted his head towards the crossroad to the left, “I’ll see you to-”

Law frowned as he bumped into something (someone?) sturdy, and took a step back with an apology at the tip of his tongue, but then whoever he bumped into looked up and him and smiled and-

That _smile._

That bloody _smile._

“Look, it’s the underwear man!”

Crap.

Law was _definitely_ the Popsicle Man, because he froze so _bad_ and so _sudden_ that a statue could probably move more than him. Or _wanted_ to.

“The… underwear man?” Penguin inquired, still beside Law, who had completely forgotten anyone existed in the entire world for a split second. For another second, he wished that was the case.

The guy- boy- person- _thing_ , giggled and then smiled again, even brighter than last time. “I’m glad I met you last night, Law,” he said and, tiptoeing all the way to oblivion because of their height difference, whispered in Law’s ear, “And you’re wearing your underwear right this time. I’m so happy for you!” Then he casually backed off and winked.

What-

What the-

What just-

What?

Then the guy-boy-thing smiled again, said something about monkeys and Lu… Lufkin? Law’s brain cells were way too numb to comprehend anything more than that. The Lufkin person shook his hand and adjusted his hat on top of his head, and then he was off into the distance, and Law stood there, watching, still, with his arm still bent and hand trembling because it was colder than a witch’s tit and because of the effort his neurons were putting into not committing suicide.

He slowly turned his eyes to his friends, who were standing there just as petrified but definitely not for the same reasons, and he just- he just slowly raised a trembling finger to them, like he didn’t have half the brain he had three seconds ago because the other half rage-quitted, and gave a small lopsided smile so fake that it would put a WWE match to shame. “I can explain-”

But Shachi and Penguin both just turned around and walked away, muttering ‘it’s okay’ and ‘you don’t have to explain anything’ as if they _really_ didn’t want to be involved in… whatever _this_ was, which was actually more insulting and embarrassing for the raven than if he had to explain what that was all about. And he could bet all his two kidneys that they did it on purpose.

Law groaned, running a hand through his hair and preparing to continue his way back home before stopping short as he saw the weirdo standing still by the other end of the street. The guy looked at the… what the hell, a wall? Well there was a plant on the wall so perhaps he was staring at the plant, but he looked like he wanted to _kill_ it.

“What do you mean I embarrassed Law?! I even had the _decency_ to _whisper_ the _other_ stuff!” he roared, and Law… Law actually _pitied_ that poor plant.

But eh, it was probably just a wild encounter. It’s not like he’d ever see this person again. It was funny how he seemed to know Law’s name even though he _absolutely_ didn’t tell him, but then again, the guy was talking to a _plant._

Problem solved; time to move on and drink some coffee.

 

°°°

 

**On the next chapter:**

_“Christ on a bike, why hast thou forsaken me?”_

 


	2. Me, Myself and I

Law woke up with his traditional morning headache at full power. He didn’t waste much time before getting off the bed and making his way to the kitchen to start up the coffee machine while still half asleep, and only then going to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He went back to his bedroom to get his phone but it wasn’t on the nightstand where it usually was.

Maybe he took it to the kitchen?

As soon as he got there, though, the coffee was done and he forgot about the phone, taking a full mug to the table. He yawned as he opened the cabinet to look for cookies, and took the last, half-full pack. He wasn’t happy with the prospect of going grocery shopping, but apparently it was impossible to delay it any longer (of course he had the choice of not leaving that for the last possible second, but shopping wasn’t something he particularly enjoyed at any time and circumstance).

At least he could stock up on coffee powder. That had to count for something.

ººº

Law was, and  _ wasn’t _ , baffled when he saw the straw-hat wearing weirdo at the grocery store. Honestly it was more surprising that he was yet again wearing clothes unfitting for the cold weather rather than the fact that he may really be stalking the hell out of him, while holding a shopping basket and pretending to be a normal human being, as long as being ‘normal’ included talking to the items he was looking at. Well, at least he had the decency of not  _ actually _ wearing the hat inside the store, letting it hang around his neck instead.

The raven pretended he didn’t see the uh, Lufkin? Funghi? Whatever - and Law was  _ good _ at pretending he didn’t see people (sometimes doing it right on their faces), so in a few seconds there wasn’t a trace of the stranger in his mind. He had much,  _ much _ better things to do anyway, like finding the aisle with coffee powder. He’d only gotten one pack the last time and that had been what, two or three days ago? And he most certainly couldn’t risk running out of it again.

He stopped in front of the shelf and quickly found the brand he was used to, almost being drawn to it by his addiction. A sigh escaped his lips. He half wanted, and half didn’t want to do something about that. He knew he  _ had _ to at some point, but not doing anything was far more comfortable.

Law placed four packs on his basket, and held a fifth one in his hand. His long fingers absentmindedly caressed the shiny red pack as he mused what to get next. What was on his list again…?

“Why are you caressing the coffee? Does that make it taste better?”

Funghi.

Law inhaled as much as he was humanly able to, then exhaled slowly until his lungs were two tired, giant dried apricots. “Yeah,” he agreed, turning to look at the scrawny Funghi who stared back with an innocence that was almost childly. “If you caress it just enough, it stops tasting like you’re licking the Devil’s butt crack.”

Funghi laughed and Law almost had to  _ try _ to hide a grin. And that was enough human interaction for the day. Now _ that _ was tough. Law turned to the other side to search for the rest of items he needed - cookies, uh, shampoo, detergent? What else?

“Woah, that’s a lot of coffee!” Funghi exclaimed all happy-go-lucky while staring at Law’s basket, like it wasn’t weird at all that he’d be buying this much at once. “You havin’ a coffee party or something like that?”

“Yep, and I invited  _ me _ and  _ myself _ ,” Law responded with maybe a little too much stress in those words, if only to make sure Funghi wasn’t going to invite himself to his house.

What kind of person names their child  _ Funghi _ anyway?

“Ohhhhh,” Funghi continued, “I thought you’d party with the spirit that’s hanging out with you.”

Law stopped dead in his tracks, whipping his head around to stare deadpanned at the mental patient that’s definitely escaped from some hospital somewhere. My  _ God _ , that would even explain the lack of clothes. Hopefully he wasn’t too dangerous or Law would have to headlock him while someone called the cops.

“I’m sorry, Funghi-ya,” Law began, eliciting a chuckle and a mumbled  _ ‘Funghi!’ _ from the other, “But I’m not a big fan of ghosts, and I’m in a bit of a hurry, so-”

“But this one likes you! It’s the one who told me about your underwear!”

Wait, what?

“Too bad I can’t  _ actually _ see it. It’s too weak,” he mused, crossing his arms and staring intensely above Law’s right shoulder, “But that’s not  _ all _ bad. Maybe it’s gonna pass to the other side soon.”

Law briefly congratulated himself on his head for allowing this to happen and sighed. “Funghi-ya, I really have to go.”

“Oh.”

Funghi almost looked sad, or  _ actually _ looked sad; Law didn’t know for sure, and  _ didn’t _ want to know. He took off for the end of the aisle and was about to turn around and  _ flee _ when Funghi called him again, by name (really now, did Law ever spurt out that information?).

“Yeah?”

“It’s Luffy,” he said with one of the most genuine, brilliant smiles Law’s seen in a long while.

“And I’m Law. But you already knew that,” he tried. If curiosity killed the cat, then he’d make sure he’d go down with a  _ blast. _

“Yeah! The spirit told me,” Luffy said in all seriousness a human being could muster when they  _ thought _ they were telling the truth. Maybe the little guy’s listened to him talking to Penguin and Shachi some random day (it wasn’t like they did anything short of yelling). Luffy proceeded to cross his arms and look at Law like he knew all the darkest secrets of mankind. “You don’t believe me, do you?”

Law huffed, amused. “Did the spirit tell you that?”

“No, your face did.”

Ooh, score. Maybe he wasn’t  _ that _ crazy after all.

“What the spirit  _ did _ tell me...”

Yep, nuts. Law should stop giving people so much credit.

“...is that your cell phone fell under the kitchen cabinet. You’re welcome.”

Luffy grinned again, like he didn’t just prove to Law that he was either a stalker or a mental patient, and happily skipped away from the aisle.

ººº

_ “I don’t know why you still do that.” _

Luffy cocked an eyebrow at Ace before looking back at the cereal boxes. “Do what? Choose cereal? ‘Cause I really don’t know if I want chocolate or regular corn flavor. Or maybe I want both?”

_ “No, you idiot!” _ Ace slapped the top of his head and, although it felt like nothing more than a burst of condensed air that ruffled Luffy’s hair, the intent was there.

“Hnnyah!” he complained, running a hand through his dark locks, “Then what is it?!”

_ “Telling these things to that guy! He obviously doesn’t care about anything you say.” _

“He does too!” Luffy fought back, jutting out his lower lip as he placed both flavors of cereal onto his cart. “He just doesn’t believe much of it.”

_ “He doesn’t believe in  _ anything _ you’ve said up to this point!” _

Luffy huffed, slanting his eyes at the spirit, who in turn crossed his arms. “I like him, okay?”, Luffy insisted, “And I like the spirit that’s tagging along with him.”

_ “Fine! Do what you want. It’s not like I can physically stop you anyway, you thick-headed, snot-nosed brat,”  _ Ace mumbled as he pouted, glaring at the cereal boxes.

ººº

Law’s life  _ definitely _ wasn’t an easy one. As soon as he got home and set foot on the kitchen, he got cramps on his leg and slipped on the tile and the bone snapped in half so he fell down to the floor in such a way that he was facing directly under the cabinet.

He didn’t… he really didn’t just kneel down to check if his phone was there.

But hey, it was.

Luffy was right. Again. Wonderful.

Law sat down with his back against the cabinet as he held the phone tight between his fingers. How could it be? Perhaps Luffy really was a stalker, but Law would have  _ known. _ Law stopped counting the times he’d accidentally injured Shachi and Penguin when they tried to surprise him from behind. And from the sides… and from the front. He would  _ know _ if he were being watched.

With a sigh to calm himself down, Law brought up his phone and unlocked the screen, seeing a few notifications. Stupid marketing messages, skip. Shachi sent him a meme, skip. Facebook friend solicitation, sk-

_ Monkey D. Luffy?! _

Law locked his phone again and stood up, reaching for a glass of water. How?  _ How?! _ He never used that thing. He didn’t even  _ like _ Facebook.  _ Shachi _ made that account for him so he could score some chicks or something? Law didn’t care at the time and continued not to care ever since. But this.  _ Why?! _

Law brought a hand to his forehead, breathed wrong and almost choked a few times, closed his hands into palms then released - then he got his phone again, and unlocked it as quick as he could with trembling fingers, and brought up the notification again.

Monkey D. Luffy sent a friend request.

“Christ on a bike, why hast thou forsaken me?”

Law sat against the cabinet again and clicked on Luffy’s account. This was a good time as any to get to know his… his  _ enemy _ , wasn’t it? And the profile was, uh… relatively normal, apparently. Lots of pictures with his friends, lots of pictures with his pets. Then pictures  _ of _ his pets. Lord, he really did like his pets. There was a sheep, a raccoon (or was it a fat baby reindeer? Law honestly couldn’t tell the difference) and a dog with so much fur it could as well be a lion.

Okay, Law’s seen worse. Penguin had tried to get a pet penguin once. And Shachi wanted a pet killer whale.

Luffy seemed to have a  _ ton  _ of friends in his profile and they posted a lot of nice things on his… what was it called? A wall? Law really should get to know these things better some day. Or not.

But Luffy’s friends seemed relatively harmless, and the little guy seemed to be too.

Law sighed and went back to his own profile, where a message from Luffy awaited.

‘ _ Helloooooo Law! Let’s be friends here too! :D’ _

_ Friends, here _ , and  _ too _ on the same sentence? Like they’re already friends in the real world? Law didn’t have enough sighs in his lungs for that. He didn’t want to be social any more than necessary.

Law locked his phone, ignoring Luffy’s message, and begun putting away his groceries.

ººº

**On the next chapter:**

_ “An antiques shop, of course; how could I ever think otherwise?” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops! I'm aware it's a short chapter, but I think I'd rather keep'em coming than make them long and delay their publishing. Feel free to share your thoughts on this, and on anything else. And have a nice day! :D


	3. Murphy's Law

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad writer’s block made me post this without checking for any mistakes. Sorry in advance; shall correct as soon as possible. :D

**[necRomancer]**

**ººº**

_ Murphy’s Law _

**ººº**

Law’s innermost nature was, contrary to popular belief, that of a criminal mastermind on the run from the International Police. If ‘Trafalgar Law’ were a Playstation game, his Platinum Trophy would be called ‘I kinda trust you now’ and its ultra-rarity would make the most serious of players to actually think twice before trying to get it. Law barely even trusted inanimate objects and other such things, so to say he was untrustful of people was a downhill of an understatement.

He wasn’t obsessive, just…  _ mildly _ overzealous, which certainly had to do with the way he was raised. Law wasn’t willing to take any risks when it came to his safety.

So of course, meeting a crazed-looking stranger who somehow knew his name, was possibly a stalker and had the  _ guts _ to friend-request him on Facebook raised more flags than the United States on the 4th of July.

Law never loosened his guard (except maybe just a little, when he was at home alone and could have small anger fits that consisted in hissing like a rabid cat and throwing punches at the walls, which he couldn’t do in public for obvious reasons). Although he looked nonchalant most of the time, if not outright bored, he was actually always at the ready for any sensorial stimuli - and this was heightened after his weird encounters with Luffy. Law expected him to pop out of any place, any time, and wouldn’t be surprised if the maniac jumped out of his coffee maker, which he was currently staring at (of course, if that  _ did  _ come to happen, Law’d execute him for heresy).

But he didn’t believe in such absurd things like people popping out of ridiculously small stuff, no matter how lunatic they were (and, mind you, ghosts and spirits as well!). Law was a man of science. He was a son of the rational, nephew of Murphy’s Law. Probably why he was called Law in the first place. He should have asked his parents when he had the chance.

Alas, one thing he did believe in was stalking, and his naturally evasive nature told him he was being tracked down like a rat in a maze, and Luffy was one hell of a wild cat he had to flee from. Or… fight back. But Luffy seemed to have pretty teeth. It would be a pity to break them (without more proof of his crimes) and Law wouldn’t risk having to spend his precious time at the police station talking about a guy who saw ghosts and somehow attached himself to him like a leech.

Law wasn’t an expert in stalkers, but he had a pretty well-rounded idea of how they worked: schedules.  _ Routine. _ He knew where Law was at any given time because he was a gobshite of a hermit who didn’t leave his cave unless he needed to go to class or to the market. He was an easy target, all alone at home, with his path so obvious Luffy could be blind and it wouldn’t make a difference.

So Law’s plan for evading the creepy, lecherous stalker?

Skipping class.

It was only and solely for the reason of keeping himself safe, and not because he’d have classes with Eustass and would have to pretend the guy didn’t exist for approximately one hundred and twenty minutes (the walking STOP signpost was fine when he had his mouth shut, but considering that didn’t occur very often Law was prone to avoiding him). No, Law wasn’t this petty ‘n bratty. He just wanted his safety.

But staying home alone wasn’t a good idea either. He wasn’t Macauley Culkin to pull traps out of his ass and spread them around his house to keep any intruders out, so he was still an easy target.

A walk would do - somewhere he’s never been to before. Unknown, shady, maze-like streets to confuse his enemy - and there was even a chance he could find a good, hidden from view cafe on the way. Now  _ that _ was a good idea.

Law dressed up warmly, complete with a scarf covering half his face and his fingers twitched once, hand hesitating twice before he reached out for Cora-san’s old sunglasses. He took a moment before slowly sliding them onto his face and taking a long stare at the mirror.

Gods, he used to do this all the time when he was a kid, and Cora-san would be so  _ pissed _ he’d literally catch on fire. They still had the fire extinguisher from the last time it happened, tucked in the closet, probably rotting along with his favorite shirt-

Law shook his head. Took a breath. Closed his eyes so he wouldn’t see his reflection anymore and walked out of the house, hands balled into fists and shoved deeply into his pockets.

He had to concentrate. Right now, he was a man on the run and every move could cost him his life.

**ººº**

Apparently, shady alleys weren’t so scary for a man over six foot tall who looked like they were ready to kill - and, as planned, there was no sign of Luffy. Law only wasn’t impressed with this result because it’s the one he expected.

Flawless. Law even risked a smile from underneath his scarf.

A light jingling bell came from behind him. A japanese wind chime? A store bell? It sounded like so many things at once. Law slowly turned around, as he was sure this narrow, dark alley didn’t contain any stores-

Oh. Well, there it was. Apparently he was too distracted flattering himself to notice the building.

He took a few steps back, staring at a small antiques shop, as it read on top. It wasn’t big by any means, but the two glass showcases beside the door contained an awful lot of stuff. Pendants, rocks, a gramophone - wow, now that was nice - a jewelry box, Luffy-

…

Of course. Murphy’s Law. Trafalgar Law. There just  _ had _ to be a connection.

Law instinctively (though one or two seconds too late) jumped back at the grotesque sight of the maniac with his face and hands pressed against the glass, staring at him with his eyes so sparkly they almost blinded him for a second. And he continued to stare, smile widening impossibly wide while Law’s ears rung with a familiar tune that seemed to be coming from inside the shop.

_ Every breath you take _

_ Every move you make _

_ Every bond you break _

_ Every step you take _

_ I'll be watching you! _

Luffy pried himself away from the glass, directing himself to the door and Law choked in a scream, tailgating the hell out of there as fast as his legs could take him, but the alley seemed to have no end no matter how much he ran.

“Law, wait!” Luffy pleaded, and Law gritted his teeth, closing his eyes shut to will away the headache already forming. Why did he do this to himself? Humoring Luffy all the time! He knew it would only cause trouble but his body slowly turned back around to face the straw-hatted nemesis - that… was… just a few feet behind him, just like the shop?  _ Excuse me?! _ “Sorry if I spooked you, shi shi shi! I was just cleaning the glass but then I saw you and I just couldn’t help but want to say hi!”

“Yeah, of course you did,” Law said with a sigh, looking around while trying to understand just how physics worked in this alley, if they even did.

“Don’t you want to come inside? It’s warm in there and there’s a lot of cool things to see!”

“Listen, Luffy-ya, I know I look innocent like a little angel,” he said as he raised his hands to show his  _ cutie-cutie  _ D E A T H tattoos, “But don’t bother trying to screw with me. I know what you want and I’ll have you know I prefer my organs inside my body.”

Luffy snorted before bursting out laughing, then wheezed as he tried to regain his breathing. Law was, again, unamused, and jutted out his lower lip in annoyance.

“You’re so funny, Law! I don’t know what you mean, but I don’t want to screw with you. Come on, let’s go inside and I’ll brew you some coffee!” Luffy said jovially, motioning briefly with his hand before turning around to go back into the store. He stood in front of the door, holding it open and waiting for Law with a big smile plastered onto his face while the bell lightle jingled.

Now, Law’s seen horror movies. He’s seen all the slashers, poltergeists, demon possessions, sci-fi,  _ everything. _ And he knows that what sets the plot in motion is the protagonist making dumb decisions - like walking into an antique shop that bends time and space and that’s obviously the lair of a serial killer who’s chosen him as his next victim.

But you know what? Law’s nose was frozen. It was colder than bloody Niflheim and he was being offered a warm place to stay for a bit and warm coffee, and since he  _ knew _ that Luffy would try and kill him, he could protect himself. He could  _ definitely _ take on this kid’s scrawny butt.

But mostly, he was curious. So he went in. And he waited, of course, for Luffy to go in front of him and lead the way rather than leaving his back open to the killer, but his eyes did divert around all the shelves filled with all sorts of things that seemed to be taken right out of Ed and Lorraine Warren’s basement. There were odds and trinkets that Law couldn’t even fathom what they were for, or what they were at all.

The place was oddly calming, though, for a serial killer’s lair. The dim lighting wasn’t eerie but rather cozy, and the whole room (that was much bigger than it appeared on the outside) seemed to have a life of its own.

“These are my treasures,” Luffy said contemplatively, gently sliding his finger down the side of a flower vase, “But I want them to be someone else’s treasure too. That’s why I sell them.”

In a shady, hidden from view alley. Sure.

“You… own the place?” Law asked instead.

“Yeah!” Luffy placed his hands on his hips, smiling.

“An antiques store, of course, how could I ever think otherwise?”

“Right?” Luffy laughed happily. “It totally matches the whole ghost whisperer thing I have going on, right?”

“Congratulations, you just made sense for the first time since we’ve met.”

Luffy giggled, taking Law by the wrist to the end of the room and sitting him down at a small wooden table. “You wait here! I’ll get us the coffee.”

Law cocked an eyebrow at how happy the young man looked as he skipped towards a back door and went inside, leaving him with the antiquities. Sighing, Law rested his elbow on the table and propped his chin up on his palm. Luffy was definitely going to come back with a knife, or a chainsaw, or whatever his modus operandi prompted him to use, if he even had one.

Why was Law still waiting anyway? God darn it. He rationally knew Luffy was danger, but his body just wouldn’t obey. He didn’t  _ want _ to leave. Part of him was curious to see just how crazy Luffy actually was, but there was another part of him that was just… ugh. It was almost like when he was inexplicably drawn to coffee and zoned out while holding or drinking the thing. He couldn’t control it.

Luffy came back with two steamy mugs before Law could make the choice to stay or leave. The straw-hatted killer placed the mugs on the table and sat across from him, picking up the porcelain and taking a good sniff of the liquid before sighing with a huge, goofy smile.

Law knitted his eyebrows and took a sniff himself, at his own mug, to see what was so special about it. Well… the smell was fantastic, really, but Luffy’s reaction was a little off. Maybe it was poisoned? No, no, Law would  _ know _ if someone had poisoned his  _ coffee _ of all things. He was safe.

So he took a sip.

And he was in heaven.

But he was in hell.

And it hurt, not because it was hot, but because it was perfect - it was bitter and warm but had a sweetness that was almost diabetic; the taste was rich and the liquid ran on his tongue like fresh honey. It was nostalgic. It was a coffee that he hadn’t tasted in years, one that he attempted to copy day after day after day, but never quite getting it right.

But this was right. It was too right. And so he dropped the mug on the table, knocking the chair back as he stood up, with a trembling hand over his mouth and his eyes tearing up as he looked at Luffy but saw his precious Cora-san.

He blinked, and the spell seemed to be broken.

Hyperventilating, Law had to be led to a sofa by Luffy. At the moment he couldn’t care less; he just wanted the tingling in his fingers to go away and the taste in his tongue to dissolve into disappearance. He trembled and wheezed; Luffy dropped a blanket over him and whispered apologies over and over again by his ear, sliding his fingers along Law’s scalp just like… like…

Law’s eyes, glued to the ceiling, slowly closed as he gave way to nothingness. The last thing he saw were small floating lights, and in his ears the familiar, old tune continued to lull him to sleep.

_ Since you've gone I been lost without a trace _

_ I dream at night I can only see your face _

_ I look around but it's you I can't replace _

_ I feel so cold and I long for your embrace _

_ I keep crying baby, baby, please. _

ººº

**On the next chapter:**

_ “Do you really think you can fool me like that?!” _

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello!  
> Congrats on reaching the end of the page! Hope you've enjoyed this so far!  
> Have a great day! :D


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